tired
sooooooo tired... rushing from work to skool... from skool to work... bloody tiring... gosh... missed dinner for 2 days... onli just manage to have my dinner at 12midnite... haiz... WHY?!?! gotta skip work tml to go clear cupboard at NYH... haiz... opportunity cost of clearing cupboard = $64... haiz... wat to do...
anyway... below is another email sent by my aunt... this time... it's on ENGLISH... ever wondered why we studied so hard for our english papers? hehe...
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Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
> The bandage was wound around the wound.
> The farm was used to produce produce.
> The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
> We must polish the Polish furniture.
> He could lead if he would get the lead out.
> The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
> Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
> A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
> When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
> I did not object to the object.
> The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
> There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
> They were too close to the door to close it.
> The buck does funny things when the does are present.
> A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
> To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
> The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
> After a number of injections my jaw go! t number.
> Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
> I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
> How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
> PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
> Let's face it - English is a crazy language:
> There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger
> Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
> English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
> Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
> We take English for granted.
> But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
>And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
> If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
> One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
> Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
> If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
> If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
> If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
>
> Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
> In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
> Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
> Have noses that run and feet that smell?
> How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
>
> You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
>
> English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
>
> That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
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posted by Melvyn at
01:08
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